Aug. 25th, 2005 @ 06:44 am Jahlon's ANS2 Magnet Case: High-Level Stats...
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Octane (SIRIUS Ch. 20 - DISH Network Ch. 6020)
ANS2

[this was originally posted on the message boards at http://www.wackypackages.org/]

Hi.

It's me again.

Well, my ANS2 case o'magnets finally arrived this week. Here are some high-level stats, percentages for the case first:

Tattoos: 3%
Magnets: 4%
Stickers: 93%

Totals for the case:

Tattoos: 96
Magnets: 144
Stickers: 3232

I haven't done the sorting yet to see how many complete sets this represents.

Is this more or less in line with what others have experienced? Just wondering...

1by1as1,
I AM Jala*AN.
http://www.the111experience.org/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jlwn111

p.s. I - Why the heck didn't they change the "Insert Checklist" to say Magnets instead of Clear-Clings?

p.s. II - When is the so-called "media blitz" going to happen? Is it still going to happen? Seems like the success is quite localized right now. And mostly centered around the CT/NY/NJ/PA/DE bio-region. True?
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Aug. 25th, 2005 @ 06:33 am The TOS S1 Box Set So Far (Winners/Neutrals/Stinkers)
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Octane (SIRIUS Ch. 20 - DISH Network Ch. 6020)
OK. Here we go. The TOS S1 Box Set So Far. Stars, up to FIVE, are given to the Winners and the Stinkers. Please remember - a 5-star WINNER is a HUGE WIN. And, of course, a 5-star STINKER stinks up the place like you just wouldn't believe. There are so many episodes that I just want to skip. But we're making our way, slowly but surely, through every single S1 episode. At all cost.

Disc 1:
"The Man Trap" - STINKER ***
"Charlie X" - NEUTRAL
"Where No Man Has Gone Before" - WINNER **
"The Naked Time" - WINNER *

Disc 2:
"The Enemy Within" - NEUTRAL
"Mudd's Women" - NEUTRAL
"What Are Little Girls Made Of?" - STINKER **
"Miri" - NEUTRAL

Disc 3:
"Dagger of the Mind" - STINKER ***
"The Corbomite Maneuver" - STINKER *****
"The Menagerie, Parts I & II" - WINNER *****

Disc 4:
"The Conscience of the King" - NEUTRAL
"Balance of Terror" - WINNER ***
"Shore Leave" - WINNER *
"The Galileo Seven" - NEUTRAL

Disc 5:
"The Squire of Gothos" - WINNER ***
"Arena" - STINKER *****
"Tomorrow is Yesterday" - WINNER ****
"Court Martial" NEUTRAL

Three discs to go to complete S1! We'll do another recap once we get halfway through S2. We'll develop a way to compute an overall score down the road. Right now, the neutrals and the stinkers are out-weighing the winners. Exactly as we had expected:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jlwn111/27207.html
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Aug. 24th, 2005 @ 04:11 pm Quickly: a Serious PLUG for SIRIUS Octane (Ch. 20)
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: Octane (SIRIUS Ch. 20 - DISH Network Ch. 6020)
Every once and while I put in a plug for my favorite SatRad company - SIRIUS Satellite Radio. Well, I have to put in a big old plug for Ch. 20 (6020 on DISH Network) today - which is called OCTANE.

Octane

It plays exactly what I want to listen to (right now, at least) - my old favorites: Pearl Jam, Korn, Marilyn Manson, NIN, Soundgarden, Pantera, Nirvana, White Zombie, Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down, Danzig, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and bunch of other cool music from the mid-90s ("this is Q104.3 music" - an NYC reference!). And then it plays all this new 21st century stuff by bands like Slipknot and Godsmack and Nickelback and a bunch of other stuff that you've probably never heard of before. It really keeps you pumped. And the guy in the afternoon (Razz) used to be a DJ in NYC on one of my favorite stations back in the day. From the SIRIUS webpage for OCTANE:

"New hard rock and the best hard rock of the '90s. Nine Inch Nails, Velvet Revolver, System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine- it's the soundtrack to the ass-kicking of your life! What we play: Mudvayne, Foo Fighters, Staind, Linkin Park, Audioslave, Korn, Papa Roach, Metallica and many more..."

http://www.sirius.com/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=Sirius/Page&c=Channel&cid=1104779639633&s=sched

OK. That's my quick plug for OCTANE. Hope it wasn't too much of a COMMERCIAL. ;-)

1by1as1,
ME.
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Aug. 24th, 2005 @ 07:33 am Our Shared Future: Utopia (well, for SOME of us)
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Octane (SIRIUS Ch. 20 - DISH Network Ch. 6020)
From the MIST of my very relaxing and well-deserved vacation:

Yes, UTOPIA.

No, I'm not talking about the Utah state government's FTTH (Fiber to the Home) project. That would be this:

Utopia

I'm talking about my future. A future that's filled with great hope, great joy, and tremendous optimism. Things won't be as sweet for BILLIONS of others. Not my problem. This is all about CHOICES. These are some thoughts clipped from an online discussion I was recently a part of:

(to someone who called me a misanthrope)

Main Entry: mis·an·thrope
Pronunciation: 'mi-s&n-"thrOp
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek misanthrOpos hating mankind, from misein to hate + anthrOpos human being
: a person who hates or distrusts mankind

Not so. I simply distrust most of humanity's ability to know when it's time to stop having babies. It's time to stop, BTW.

I also think that the damage we've done to this planet is far more severe than your rose-colored glasses portrayal. On the positive side, we are tremendously creative, loving, and very resourceful creatures. But healing this dying planet, at this point, is beyond our reach. Its capacity to support nearly all forms of life has been damaged beyond repair. And sure, once we're all gone, it can and will exist as a big old DEAD ROCK IN SPACE devoid of all insect, animal and plant life.

Until the sun explodes, of course.

Then the whole region will "live on" as a very large Black Hole. But in the meantime, there's our immediate future. Which, for most humans on the planet, will be filled with economic malaise, environmental disasters, and the collapse of most social institutions. Oh, and don't forget about the Global Pandemics (Bird Flu, etc.).

I'm not sure why, but a very obscure David Byrne tune from "Music for the Knee Plays" just came to mind. It's called IN THE FUTURE.

In the Future [Knee Play 12]

In the future everyone will have the same haircut and the same clothes.
In the future everyone will be very fat from the starchy diet.
In the future everyone will be very thin from not having enough to eat.
In the future it will be next to impossible to tell girls from boys, even in bed.
In the future men will be 'super masculine' and women will be 'ultra-feminine'.
In the future half of us will be 'mentally ill'.
In the future there will be no religion or spiritualism of any sort.
In the future the 'psychic arts' will be put to practical use.
In the future we will not think that 'nature' is beautiful.
In the future the weather will always be the same.
In the future no one will fight with anyone else.
In the future there will be an atomic war.
In the future water will be expensive.
In the future all material items will be free.
In the future everyone's house will be like a little fortress.
In the future everyone's house will be a total entertainment center.

In the future everyone but the wealthy will be very happy.
In the future everyone but the wealthy will be very filthy.
In the future everyone but the wealthy will be very healthy.
In the future TV will be so good that the printed word will function as an art form only.
In the future people with boring jobs will take pills to relieve the boredom.
In the future that no one will live in cities.
In the future there will be mini-wars going on everywhere.
In the future everyone will think about love all the time.

In the future political and other decisions will be based completely on opinion polls.
In the future there will be machines which will produce a religious experience in the user.
In the future there will be groups of wild people, living in the wilderness.
In the future there will only be paper money which will be personalized.
In the future there will be a classless society.

In the future everyone will only get to go home once a year.
In the future everyone will stay home all the time.
In the future we will not have time for leisure activities.
In the future we will only 'work' one day a week.
In the future our bodies will be shriveled up but our brains will be bigger.
In the future there will be starving people everywhere.
In the future people will live in space.
In the future no one will be able to afford TV.
In the future the helpless will be killed.
In the future everyone will have their own style of way-out clothes
In the future we will make love to anything, anytime, anywhere
In the future there will be so much going on that no one will be able to keep track of it.


~~~

Resource Planner (the name I was penning this under) wrote:
"But in the meantime, there's our immediate future. Which, for most humans on the planet, will be filled with economic malaise, environmental disasters, and the collapse of most social institutions. Oh, and don't forget about the Global Pandemics (Bird Flu, etc.)."

Well, I need to clarify these statements. I do believe that most of humanity's fate is sealed in the manner I've described above. But for little old me, those blessed to fall within my Inner Circle (close friends, family, other loved ones, etc.), and a handful of other like-minded techno-pagan, resourceful, spiritually and socially progressive people, I see a very different future. I see a future filled with great joy, hope, and wonder. I expect to be sheltered through the coming storms (economic and environmental collapse, Global Pandemics, etc.) and live on to the ripe old age of at least 122. And I expect that a good many others will be right there with me. Sure, the planet's eventual death-fate is sealed. But that'll happen long after we’re gone. I'm looking forward to a long, creativity-filled life that will be shared with other socially progressive and environmentally conscious people. And yes, we'll all be VEGAN. And yes, we will have no need for cars. And yes, we'll be (mostly) living off the grid making use of renewable resources. While the rest of the world continues to decay and spin hopelessly down into the crapper, we will be quite happy and content.

So... just wanting to make sure you were all clear on exactly what I meant. And hey - there are still a few openings. It's not too late to reserve your spot. Act now! Don't miss out on this incredible opportunity! Cuz it definitely won’t last.


~~~

Make that "While the rest of the world continues to BREED and decay and spin hopelessly down into the crapper, we will be quite happy and content."

OK, *now* we're done.


~~~

I'll be happy and content because I'll be sharing a long, creativity-filled life with other socially progressive and environmentally conscious people. And yes, we'll all be VEGAN. And yes, we will have no need for cars. And yes, we'll be (mostly) living off the grid making use of renewable resources.

That's why.

And I guess you missed the "techno-pagan" part. The BIG FOUR religious-types love to breed and will be on the outside of this community I’m speaking of - suffering right along with the rest of the zombified, brain-dead masses. In the crapper. Watching TV.

And seriously, there's still room for you to join us in this spiritually enlightened, environmentally friendly off-the-grid community. Hey, based on what I've observed here, you'll probably bring some good tunes with you.

Music is a very big part of this Utopian future I'm describing. And while power will be allotted for your old-time music-playing devices, it will actually be LIVE MUSIC (performed by members of our collective) that will serve to join us together as ONE.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?


~~~

(to someone who accused me of being happy that BILLIONS won't make it)

Glee over suffering? Hardly. Where did you get that? It's just that I see a very dark and dismal future for most of humanity. I see a very bright future for myself and a "handful" (less than 200-300 million worldwide, I would guess) of other enlightened beings who will, in fact, escape this suffering. And live out a future filled with hope and joy on an otherwise hopeless and miserable world.

Is any of this starting to resonate with you? You seem determined to pick holes in this Utopian community I'm describing but you keep coming up blank. Admit it, it sounds wonderful to you.

BTW, we'll need protection from The Outsiders, that much is certain. You got any guns? Or Transphasic Torpedoes maybe?

Heh.
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Aug. 20th, 2005 @ 07:00 am CAPSTONE: The Green Summers Mystery Steps...
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Radio Classics 133 (SIRIUS Ch. 133)
And to top off this very special week, I present unto you: The GREEN SUMMERS Mystery Steps. Exactly as Rev. George and ACS had left them. Well, nearly exactly.

The Mystery Steps
Oswego, NY, USA (mid-August, 2005)
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Aug. 19th, 2005 @ 07:42 am This Awesome MULTI-WEEK (3.2 weeks long) So Far...
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Classic Vinyl (SIRIUS Ch. 14)
No longer @the_CrossRoads! It's full steam ahead, baby! BTW - that picture was taken by my brother last Sunday during a family vacation in New England.

This has been a VERY long week. It is what we call a MULTI-WEEK - where if you think back to SUN, it seems as though more than one week has passed. Today, right now, it has been 3.2 weeks since SUN! But at the same time, even with its MULTI-WEEK status, it's been an absolutely wonderful week. And I guess that was to be expected given my ARIES horoscope for the week:

"You've never lacked for confidence, courage, or commitment, but this week you'll go way beyond anything you've done before and make the kind of impression that only few achieve. Your success may be huge, but try to be modest."

I *know* what keeps me humble/modest (for right now, at least). Do you know what keeps you from getting too full of yourself? That ends up being a rhetorical question, BTW, because COMMENTS ARE OFF. Tee-hee!

And to top off this great week, I'm beginning a well-deserved week-long vacation later on today! Destination and agenda are TOP SECRET. But I will have "connectivity" all week long via a number of different wireless and wire-line devices. I may check in here. Or I might not. I don't want you to start thinking that regular updates have started up again. You'll need to wait until on or after THE CLEARING for that. Ha!

Monkey
Even on this Haunted-Mansion-on-Top-of-a-Runaway-Train planet of ours, The Monkey is VERY happy! Yup.
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Aug. 16th, 2005 @ 11:11 pm @the_CrossRoads...
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: News, not music (http://www.wcbs880.com)
The Clearing is still to come, to be sure. But for now? Well, right now, we find ourselves AT THE CROSSROADS. And the symbolism is absolutely priceless!

The Crossroads
Somewhere east of Concord, NH, USA (mid-August, 2005)
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Aug. 13th, 2005 @ 05:55 pm Confirmed: WALKEN IN '08 !!!
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: KJHK 90.7 [http://www.kjhk.org]
FYI...

Finally, some good news on the political front! He's got my vote!

"Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We're outsourcing jobs, bankrupting social security, and losing lives at war. We need to focus on what's important-- paying attention to our children, our citizens, our future. We need to think about improving our failing educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to promote a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It's time to be smart about our politics. It's time to get America back on track."

Walken in 2008
The Official Homepage of the Walken 2008 Campaign
http://www.walken2008.com/
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Aug. 13th, 2005 @ 01:44 pm BREAKING NEWS: The Clearing Shifts from 10/10 to 10/17!
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Radio Classics 133 (SIRIUS Ch. 133)
Due to a series of External Factors falling gently into place, THE CLEARING (see previous entries) has now shifted out a week - it has moved from 10/10 to 10/17. Just thought you should know. And yes, it *is* just a coincidence that this is a Full Moon and that Sukkot begins at sundown (you know, on 15 Tishri 5766).

The Clearing
The Clearing, Late 2005 - A Photographic Representation of Our Shared Future
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Aug. 13th, 2005 @ 01:11 pm "111 mark 14" (BALANCE OF TERROR)
Current Mood: Mildly Amused
Current Music: Swing Street 73 (SIRIUS Ch. 73)
OK.

Please add another early 111 reference to the files. Yes, move over Crowley. Move over LITB (Leave it to Beaver) with your infamous "Fish Count" (111) episode. Make way for a new entry:

BALANCE OF TERROR (TOS episode originally aired on 12/15/1966) – you know, this is the one where Spock’s father (in an earlier role as a "Romulan Commander") plays a game of cat and mouse with the Enterprise in and around the Romulan Neutral Zone. I actually liked this episode a whole lot as a kid (you know, back in the day when we early post-original-run fans were watching the show 5 nights a week on Ch. 11 in NYC - YOU KNOW, WHEN MANY OF YOU WERE STILL IN KINDERGARTEN). And, unlike some of the other STINKERS in the TOS S1 Box-set, I am finding this still quite enjoyable to this very day. For one thing, it’s the first time we actually see Romulans. Spock speculates that IF (he said IF) the Romulans represented an offshoot of Vulcan’s early, war-like not-so-logical past, then they would make a formidable enemy indeed. It's also the first time we see a Romulan Bird of Prey. It’s the first time we see the Cloaking Device in action. It’s also the first (and only?) time someone refers to Kirk as a "Sorcerer". HA! But guess what else happens? Well, I’ll give you three clues: 1, 1, and 1. HA! Yes, unbelievably, there is a reference to ONE-ELEVEN in this episode – and not once or even twice or even three times. It’s referenced, based on an informal count, around a dozen times. The heading that the Bird of Prey takes is "111 mark 14" – imagine that? From Memory-Alpha: "The vessel was only visible as a blip on tracking sensors; this blip, unaware of the Enterprise because of the two-way nature of the invisibility screen, changed course to 111 mark 14, which would take it back through the Neutral Zone to Romulus."

And this is SO funny, because someone who read my "vicious" anti-"TOS-head" entries last week said, "You know, you should try to find AT LEAST ONE THING you can appreciate in each of the TOS episodes." Yes, even if the entire episode is a so-called stinker. They said that right before (literally, about 2 hours before) I watched BALANCE OF TERROR. Huh! And then the "111 mark 14" came along inside an episode that I actually liked! HA!

So going forward, I have been trying to do this. But I have to tell you – I don’t think I can find even ONE THING that I liked in the Stinker known as "The Corbomite Maneuver" – it was 100% stinko from start to finish! And again, the worst moments happen while we’re listening to that fucking stupid dubbed-in voice on Clint Howard. His misshapen head is quite annoying too.

So I’m trying. We watched SQUIRE OF GOTHOS the other night and I was reminded that the beings in that episode might have actually been The Q. I thought that as soon as I saw the first Q episode on TNG. I said – "hey, he’s just like the Squire of Gothos!" And whaddya know, it seems like others (eventually) thought the same thing too:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=%22squire+of+gothos%22+%22the+q%22

"Find one thing you can appreciate." 111 mark 14. HA!!! Amazing...

1by1as1,
I AM Jala*AN.
Lawrence, KS, USA

p.s. I --- and yes, don't ask my why, but I'm going to put this out on Usenet too! The Trek fans there are so easily agitated! It's quite amusing, actually. HA!!!

p.s. II --- There's some movement on the date of The Clearing. A minor adjustment. 10/10 may move to 10/17. And then some time after that you'll see multiple-times-per-week updates again! w00t! Just relax and keep your shirts on, it'll be here before you know it... you know, THE CLEARING.
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Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 10:11 am Quick Follow-Up to "Annoying TOS-Heads" Post...
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Swing Street 73 (SIRIUS Ch. 73)
PLEASE NOTE: Just because you're finding 2 posts within 2 days does NOT mean I have started regular posting again. Look for that to resume sometime after The Clearing (on or after 10/10). Anyway...

Well, I'm not sure why, but I decided to put my TOS-head BURN out on the Usenet to see what other Star Trek fans might think. I have so very few internet conflicts at this point so I'm not sure I know why I felt like opening this can of worms. But I did. It's been real peaceful lately not having to defend my positions. No annoying Flame Wars. This has been part of a plan, actually. It's all part of the Going Dark process I began about a year and several months ago. Meaning, my various internet personae would be "Going Dark" and freeing themselves from all that conflict. Well, sometimes I slip and actually post in a place where annoying, lame people can comment. And then of course I feel the need to respond to their comments. Well, I let a bunch of responses queue up and then I decided I would take on ONE round (and ONE round only) of responses. Here are some of the choice responses to the folks who accused me of being not only a "troll" but of not really being a true Star Trek fan. I mean, please. ME? NOT A TRUE FAN? Please. That's completely ludicrous. I just have started to see TOS in its proper context, that's all. OK, here's some of my feedback to their feedback:

[to someone who said that Sisko and Gul Dukat going at it in the Fire Caves was DS9's "worst" moment] At its worst moment? You must be kidding. It all BUILT UP TO THAT. As foretold by the Prophets. It was Sisko's passing into the Celestial Temple. More proof that I'm dealing with a bunch of LAME TOS-heads that never dared jump into the DS9 waters.

[to someone who said that TOS had more "passion" and "sex" than any of the other shows] DS9 had more passion and sex than TOS ever did. And it wasn't just because there were more episodes. Obviously, you never even bothered to jump in. A very clear picture is starting to form here. The BEST TREK OF ALL (DS9) is mostly unknown to you folks. I could lend you the box sets to get you going. But why don't you just go out and get your own? Afraid it might be too complicated? I understand, little ones. Conquer those fears! Jump in! The special features in the box sets may help you decipher the show's more poignant and multi-layered interactions. And you can ask me questions any time you need help.

[to someone who accused me of being a "new" fan or some such thing] I'm not the "modern" Trek fan. I'm totally Old School. I'm 43 years old and was watching the re-runs in 1974 on Ch. 11 in NYC. Every weeknight. A loyal fan from the very beginning (from when I would sneak a peak from upstairs across the foyer into the living room where, in the mid-to-late 60's, my dad was watching it on NBC). It's just that I saw how much better things got as we moved from TOS to TNG to DS9 and VOY. Even ST:ENT was superior to TOS. They evolved. And anyone who didn't see that and still proclaims the glory of TOS over all the rest of the GREAT STUFF that came after that is, in my opinion, TOTALLY LAME. You call knowing where the "M" came from in Class M superficial? You call knowing who invented the Transporter trivial? Listen, Mr. Sincerity, perhaps it's been a while since you really took a good look at the "stinkers". THEY STUNK. Again, TOS had more misses than hits. Admit it. And in comparison, TOS was the primitive, retarded step-child of the franchise. Admit that too. Or remain in denial.

[to a generally annoying ASS named Bozo the Evil Klown] Listen, you simple-minded Klown: the 11 insults and the topic itself were focused on dolts who ONLY like TOS. They never got past TOS. They didn't graduate. They got left behind. They don't like "both" as you say. They don't even know "both" - they only know the simplistic storylines, the bad acting, and the crappy special effects of TOS. And just so you know, I am a life-long fan. I have box sets of ALL the Trek shows, the cartoons, all the movies, and I am collecting the ST:ENT box sets as they are released. I have seen every single episode of TOS probably 100 times and am uniquely qualified to critique its lame-ness. I could take any of you on in a Trek Trivia contest (from any show, movie, or the cartoon) in my sleep and could easily pummel you into subspace (you know, figuratively). M'kay? In fact, I'm looking at Clint Howard and listening to that pathetic dubbed-in voice right now. Boo! HA!!! Yes, Disc 3 of TOS Season 1 is playing on my 42-inch Dell flat-screen as we speak. Just reminding myself how far we've come over these past 40 years...

[to someone who said that sure, there were stinkers but that I should look at TOS as a "product of its time"] I, too, can enjoy TOS as a "product of its time" - but please. TOS had waaay more misses than hits. Please, won't someone else admit this too? The acting was (mostly) third-rate, the storylines were (mostly) 2-dimensional and never really broke any new ground, and the special effects were pathetic. And again, my complaint is against people who never evolved beyond the original series. When what came after, SO CLEARLY, was 100 times better. I told you - I do have a list of TOS faves that I would watch any day of the week. And right now, I am actually plodding through ALL THE STINKERS by watching the TOS box sets from the very beginning. Some of my worst fears are being realized - that the misses do in fact outnumber the hits and that, for the most part, TOS really is the malformed, retarded step-child of the franchise.

[snip]

And a few more of the same. Like I said, sometimes I slip back into my old ways and venture out into a Flame War. It's happening less and less these days. Hardly ever, actually. Most of the time, I really just couldn't be bothered. It's become BORING, in fact. At any rate, that's why I love my LiveJournal so much - COMMENTS ARE OFF, BABY!

HA!!!
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Aug. 6th, 2005 @ 09:11 am Why "TOS-Head" Star Trek Fans are Sooooooo Damn Annoying...
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Radio Classics 133 (SIRIUS Ch. 133)
There's a particular breed of sci-fi fan out there that simply drives me up the wall. Understand this: I love science fiction. Always have. Ever since my dad took me to see "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" when I was a little kid, I've been hooked. Yes, I watched all those Star Trek re-runs on Channel 11 (the old WPIX) in NYC 5 nights a week back in the day. And yes, we hard-core "trekkies" talked about the episodes the next day in school. We loved it. It was great. I loved that show, especially classic episodes like "City on the Edge of Forever" and "The Omega Glory" and "A Piece of the Action" and "The Deadly Years" and a few others - these were actually GREAT episodes. But let's be honest here. TOS had waaaay more Misses than Hits. That's just the way it was. And we didn't know that when we were 12. But as we look back on it now, it's painfully obvious.

So here's the deal: there's this particular type of Star Trek fan who never moved forward with the franchise. Despite critical acclaim and acclaim from the vast majority of hard-core fans, these people never made it beyond The Original Series. They got stuck there. Stuck in the mud, you might say. Oh, and they're very adamant about how "there's nothing like the original Star Trek" hoping to hear someone say "Oh, I know, I *totally* agree with you." And sometimes, very infrequently, they get to hear that. But if they say anything remotely similar to this within ear-shot of me? I unload on them!!! Here's a starter list of insults you can hurl at these baby-brained simpletons who never experienced the joys of, say, Sisko battling Gul Dukat in the Fire Caves:

1 - Perhaps things just got a little too complicated for you? Perhaps you could only handle very light-hearted and primitive story-lines, I guess? Are you afraid to jump in now because it will be "too much work" to get caught up with past 20 years of Star Trek Canon? Yes, that might be difficult for someone with your limited intelligence. So I guess you're stuck. Oh well, it's your loss! But please, when it comes to Star Trek, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! OK?!

2 - Say, how did we first make contact with the Vulcans? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA (since you've never seen "First Contact" because it was a NextGen crew).

3 - What's the origin of term "Class M"? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

4 - Say, who invented the transporter? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

5 - Say, isn't the Federation still feuding with the Klingons? [HA!!!]

6 - And speaking of Klingons, with your limited TOS experience, please describe the Klingon's view of the afterlife - OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

7 - Maybe you weren't bothered by all the crappy special effects WHEN YOU WERE 12, but seriously, don't they make you feel ashamed for the show when you watch it now, in 2005?! I mean, you can see how pathetic it looks, right?

8 - Didn't the way women were treated on TOS bother you? Just a little? NO? Really? Perhaps you're a bit of a misogynist? Or have tendencies in that direction? Maybe you should poll those closest to you. It might be a real eye-opener.

9 - Sure, I know you're a fan of TOS, but please, be honest, what was the crappiest and least creative episode? [Mercy given and Bonus Points awarded if they say "The Corbomite Maneuver" or "The Empath"]

10 - Since it was the TOS crew, I bet you reeeeally loved the cartoon, didn't you? [baiting them] Name your favorite cartoon episode [Mercy given and Bonus Points awarded if they say "The Counter-Clock Incident"]

11 - Listen, if you don't mind, I would rather call you a "TOS-head" as opposed to a true Star Trek fan. I mean, let's be honest, you've only experienced about a tenth of the entire Star Trek universe. It would be like calling someone who had only seen the first 30 minutes of "Star Wars: A New Hope" a Star Wars fan.

And the list goes on...


Perhaps these people just need some creative re-programming? Perhaps we could do something like what you see at the end of "A Clockwork Orange" - administer nausea-inducing drugs while forcing them to watch TOS's worst episodes so that they would become properly conditioned? That might work. It could be a non-stop loop for several days of, say, the following:

"Who Mourns for Adonais?"
"The Changeling"
"Catspaw"
"And the Children Shall Lead"
"The Way to Eden"
"Spock's Brain"
and, of course, the aforementioned
"The Corbomite Maneuver", topping off the nearly 8-hour loop with
"The Empath"

Please, don't get me wrong, I don't actually HATE these people - I just find them supremely annoying. I'm only trying to help them out. I honestly believe they don't know how annoying they are. And how foolish they appear when they go up on that TOS soapbox of theirs. I think they are actually under the mistaken impression that they are the "true" fans of Trek. Imagine the arrogance?! This is part of what makes them so damn annoying. Look, they would undergo this behavior modification process for, as they say, "The Good of the Many" (HA!!!).


The proposed therapy:

The Process
"Steppin' out to eden, yeah brother. Steppin' out to eden, yeah brother. No more trouble in my body or my mind. Goin' to live like a king on whatever I find. Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind. Yeah brother."

HA!!!
About this Entry
Aug. 6th, 2005 @ 08:33 am BManUpdate:V9:29:08.05.05
Current Mood: Detached
Current Music: Radio Classics 133 (SIRIUS Ch. 133)
JRSV9:29:08.05.05

Okay, if I may, a little personal story: yours truly has been attending Burning Man since 1997. The first year, as with many I'm sure, I was pretty excited, but really I had no idea what to expect. (I packed rollerblades, for pete's sake.) Connected with a great theme camp (Motel 666). Time of my life. My sophomore burn-year, having had such a great first experience, I was so excited to get there I thought I'd plotz. That was also the first year I volunteered, which was supremely fulfilling, so in '99 I was jumping up and down to go...in 2000, I was hired full time by the Project, and by the time August 2001 rolled around, I was anticipating Burning Man like a sleepless kid hovering over a plate of cookies she wouldn't DARE eat herself, waiting for Santa. Every year, the anticipation is different. Some years it's more palpable, and other years, more matter of fact. Expectations are dangerous things, and I try not to have them, but anticipation is something you can't really help when it wells up in you...

Well, here's my 2005 confession: I haven't anticipated a Burning Man like this one in nine years of attendance.

I decided the other day that all this talk about how "Burning Man was better when..." and "which Burning Man was the best one" is malarkey of the highest form. The best Burning Man? It's the one I still have to look forward to.

This week: new stuff on the website like Personal Use Video forms, some tips on health and grey water disposal...plus photos from the BRAF day of Art in the Park here in SF. A tip on that sparkly dust in all your night photos at the event, and more art previews...and a great Jury Duty story from a fellow burner.

Participating in Black Rock City *IS* a gift - there's no need to buy anything to give away when you can give of yourself and everyone walks away happy. PARTICIPATE has about a gazillion ways you can plug in. Plus, a handful of events for prepping for the playa...and then, back to work with us all - because, dear reader, it's 29 days until the Man burns.


+++CONTENTS, IN A TABLE++++

BLACK ROCK CITY NEWS
What's New at Burningman.com
Burning Through Jury Duty
Pics: Black Rock Art Foundation Art Carnival in SF w/David Best's Temple
Another One Lights The Dust
Spotlight on the 2005 Grant Projects: Mobile Art

PARTICIPATE!
Artist Assistance Program, On Playa
Participate In The Thick Of It All: The Center Camp Cafe
Wrangle Beneath The Man
Click Here To Live On The Esplanade
Burning Band Returns
48 Hour Film Project In Brc
10 Hour Film Project In Brc
Firepod Needs Music
Hydraulic Robot Needs A Lift
Playatech Update
Neck Sculpture
Make Your Own Pee Funnel

EVENTS AND HAPPENINGS
Make Masks in SF, Aug 13
Box Dog Bikes Open House August 9th
Viking Youth in Chicago Aug 6

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NEW ON BURNINGMAN.COM!! - personal use video, and more!

What's new at Burningman.com?

PERSONAL USE AGREEMENT ONLINE

The 2005 Personal Use Agreement is available now for download. ALL videocameras in BRC must be registered in one form or another - and if you're NOT going to broadcast your footage or do anything but show it to family and a few friends, whatchoo need is a Personal Use Agreement. You can pick these up and fill them out at Greeters, Playa Info, or the two Ranger outposts in BRC - but if you'd like to get a jump, you can fill this one out to BRING IT WITH YOU to Burning Man and turn it in at Greeters all filled-out and ready to go. What that means is you should NOT mail this to us, fax it to us, or anything-else-it to us before the event. You must present it IN PERSON at the above listed locations to receive a camera tag before you have permission to film.

To repeat: don't mail it, don't fax it. Bring it to BRC. OK. Here be the link:

http://www.burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/video_cameras.html

CENSUS! GETCHER RED HOT CENSUS HEEEAH!

Just added to the Afterburn report at
http://afterburn.burningman.com/

we have the 2004 CENSUS information! Whether you filled out one of these little buddies or not, it's interesting information to see what BRC is made of!

http://afterburn.burningman.com/04/census/census_index.html

(Don't forget to stop by in 2005 and fill one out - the Countess and the rest of the Census team will be Censusing in Center Camp again this year. Stand up and be counted!)

NEW TIPS

A little preplanning can do wonders for your health and safety in BRC:

http://burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/health_safety.html

...plus, people everywhere are talking about it so much, you'd think it was one of the most important parts of building your camp...because it is! So, whatcha gonna do with your greywater? Didja know that we can't just dump it on the ground?

http://burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/grey_water.html

ALL THIS, plus new images of klowns, beautiful klowns? Be still my heart.

http://www.burningman.com/


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WE LOVE THIS STORY..."Burning through Jury Duty"

The story below comes from a soon-to-be 2nd year burner.

Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005

Well, as a law-abiding citizen of the United States and a resident of Alameda County, I was summoned to report for jury duty today.

I drove down to Hayward Superior Court, and after waiting for quite some time, walked into the court room of Judge Harbin-Forte and sat with a bunch of my fellow citizens. I looked up at the dates posted and noted with dismay that the trial won't start until August 8th, and jury deliberations won't begin until August 29th. The judge intoned that it was our "duty" to serve on a jury if called upon, we were expected to "sacrifice", and that exemptions would not be easily granted. When the court clerk asked who wanted to file for a postponement due to "hardship", 80% of the hands in the room went up. Mine did too, but I was not holding my breath.

After all, I can't claim economic hardship because my employer will pay my regular salary while I sit on a jury. And I didn't think that going to Burning Man would be reason enough to relieve me of my civic responsibility.

Another wait ensued, then we were called back into the court room. The judge read each of our names out loud and told us whether we were granted an exemption or not. My name was among the group of us who all claimed to have trips scheduled during the trial dates. I was surprised that she even considered travel to be a legitimate excuse. She told us that she wanted to see "proof" of our upcoming travel - which did not mean we were to purchase some tickets tonight. We were supposed to come back to court tomorrow to show her the proof. One woman said she had her airline e-ticket with her. I thought, what the hell, I have my Burning Man ticket with me, I can show her that and see what happens! The bailiff collected our "proof" to hand to the judge. She looked at the other woman's computer printout and promptly excused her. Then she looked at that iridescent purple and green ticket and said out loud, "Who handed this Burning Man ticket to me?" Some in the court room chuckled. I raised my hand meekly and she looked at me for a long minute. She asked for my name, turned the ticket over in her hand and examined it for another minute. She then commented "I have half a mind to not let you go to this Burning Man thing so I can go myself..." I quipped, "You should go." She smiled and said, "You're excused."

My smile turned into outright laughter as I exited the court room.

Who would have thunk that the Man was going to be mightier than the Judge?!

-Jenny


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BLACK ROCK ART FOUNDATION CARNIVALin SF w/David Best's Temple

Cameragirl's pictures from the Black Rock Art Foundation (http://blackrockarts.org/) Art Carnival on No Spectators Day in San Francisco.

Rock!

http://www.bohemianmasquerade.com/braf_community/art_carnival.html

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ANOTHER ONE LIGHTS THE DUST

Brad Templeton writes: "Here's a handy tip about something that has confused many a night photographer at Burning Man...

You take a shot at night with a flash on the Playa. When you look at it, it's full of giant bright speckles. What are they?

This happens when there is a fine dust in the air, which is common on the Playa. Your flash is brightly illuminating the dust particles right in front of your lens, which are also close to your flash. They are so close to the flash they overpower things. You can also get the same result in fog or rain.

Solution: Avoid flash if there's dust. If you can rest the camera on a solid object and your subject is still, try that. Or get an off camera flash. Even a little off camera can help, if your camera has a flash shoe or flash cord jack. For most models of camera, you can get a flash shoe extension cord that lets you hold the flash 2' away from the camera, or in some cases an infrared transmitter. This is well worth it. Aside from getting rid of the dust problem, you will no longer have red eye and your photos will have a much more interesting light. Ever wonder why those pro photographers always have the flash on a big stick? People no longer look light deer in headlights, their faces have shadow and definition. If your camera has a flash shoe on top, give this a try!"

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SPOTLIGHT ON THE 2005 GRANT PROJECTS: MOBILE ART

This is the fifth in a series of six articles focusing on our funded installations. You can view all 31 projects at http://www.burningman.com/installations/05_art_grant.html.

Funded art installations are not necessarily fixed in one place; in fact, we'd like to see more examples of mobile art not powered by fossil fuels, but by people. To this end we have funded four projects that will be traveling the playa via participants' energy, and one that stretches the boundaries of 'mobile' art via the use of batteries.

Star Wheel by Paul Cesewski http://www.burningman.com/installations/05_art_grant.html#star_wheel
Wheels turn within wheels to propel us through an uncertain cosmos. Star Wheel is a mobile interactive sculpture composed of two wheels. The inner wheel represents our daily routines. The outer wheel reflects our larger life's path. We point Star Wheel in a direction and work together to make it roll. The inner wheel is a Bicycle Ferris Wheel. People push pedals to make the inner wheel turn. Riders swing in carriages around and over a central axle. The Ferris Wheel rides in the hub of the outer wheel. The hub of the outer wheel has spokes that connect to the rim like a bicycle wheel. When the Ferris Wheel spins the whole sculpture rolls. Star Wheel will transcend themes this year and be included in the Carnival of Consciousness. Energies that move the wheel come from the participants that pedal it. The result is that the wheel takes on the personalities of the riders. For some the ride is smooth, for others jarring, and sometimes people flip over. Typically more can be learned from watching a person riding the wheel than could be learned from a half hour conversation with them. People reveal their nature unintentionally through their actions.

Star Wheel produces a multitude of sounds. The tubes of Star wheel have bearings, bolts, and slugs of metal inside. With each rotation the tubes ring and chatter. Riders listen to unique rhythms as they turn through space.

People are the heart of Star Wheel. No fuels are needed to make it roll. EL wire will light the wheel at night.The batteries will be charged by a solar array. Fun is a universal language. The spirit of off the grid thinking is best said without language. The best thrills are the ones we give ourselves. This message will ride on a wave of inclusion. Take a spin on Star Wheel.

Bike with 2 Brains by Jason Olshefsky
http://jasondoesitall.com/bikewith2brains
The Bike With 2 Brains is a vehicle that needs two people to ride it. If both riders can work exactly together, they can use it to ride across the playa. However, it does not forgive differences and will quickly spin out of control. The steering, while not immediately obvious, is easy to figure out, and riders need to communicate how to synchronize their actions. If they come to agreement, they are rewarded with comfortable travel, but until then, they can only go in circles.

Lawnmower Man by Kevin Walsh & Jeri Countryman
http://www.mechnique.com/
In previous years, we'd explored the limits of mobile art as transportation. The Robot Rickshaw could walk only marginally faster that we could, and thus was not as much about transportation as it was about giving the Burning Man community something to look at and think about. This year we've gone one step further. LawnMowerMan is an example of mobile art that has nothing to do with transportation. He is not a vehicle as much as he is a participant himself. He is no longer a mode of getting from Point A to Point B as he is a message that mobile art need not transport participants as it needs to engage them. LawnMowerMan is completely autonomous. There is no Wizard of Oz behind the curtain. He acts based on strict rules of logic, but his reactions are anything but logical. We encourage you to find LawnMowerMan roaming around and consider him as a truly alternative form of mobile art on the playa.

BRC Rickshaw Fleet by Jay Bain http://www.burningman.com/installations/05_art_grant.html#brc_rickshaw
The BRC Rickshaw Fleet is both a mobile, civic art project involving multiple camps and an experiential opportunity for participants to give and receive the gift of spontaneous, gracious, human-powered transport. Each of the five tandem-bike rickshaws in the fleet will be uniquely decorated by camps and artists including the Lost Penguins, Asylum Village, the Deep End and more. On the playa, rickshaws will be driven by elicensed' drivers in shifts who will pick out walking Burners and help them get to where they're heading! The project is meant to serve as an experimental, pedal-powered 'virtual taxi fleet' - a gift to the citizens of BRC.
This project is also an effort to promote an explosion of art bike culture at Burning Man! Check out the fleet at the first BRC Art Bike Rally on Thursday afternoon, Center Camp, 5pm n all Burning Bikers are welcome to join this rally as it circumnavigates the city. Art bike enthusiasts can also get and share info from the Burning Bikes community at http://pedalplaya.tribe.net/.

The BRC Rickshaw Fleet is also looking for volunteer drivers and collaborators! For more info on the project, visit
http://brc-rickshaw-fleet.tribe.net/
or email Jay directly at jay@spiraltime.com. Burners with a special need for a pre-scheduled rickshaw ride should contact Jay with their request as well -- persons with disabilities, elders, kids, families and special event participants are an integral part of this art project's mission!

"Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world." ~ Grant Petersen

Tower of Memory by David Best http://www.burningman.com/installations/05_art_grant.html#tower
This year David, who is taking a break from temple-building, will bring us a 35' mobile tower, made of filigreed steel, which contains three fire pits. By night the Tower will be pushed around the playa by participants, its fires visible through the openings in the metal. The Tower, like David's Temples, has a rich, complex surface, ornate and visually compelling.

Only a fraction of the art installations on the playa are funded. See other 2005 projects here:

http://www.burningman.com/installations/05_art_theme.html

http://www.burningman.com/installations/05_art_playa.html .

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ARTIST ASSISTANCE PROGRAM, ON PLAYA - Get Involved

From the "not all gifts can fit in your pocket" files, a gift you can give on the playa:

From Monday-Friday, between 10-11:00am, folks who want to help an artist build his/her art installation can stop by the ARTery, located in Center Camp. We'll have an 'Artist Depot' sign to designate where volunteers should hang out.

Artists in need of help can stop by during that hour to meet up with volunteers. Both artists and volunteers can also post notes regarding their need or availability.

This 'Artist Assistance Program' is being promoted by the ARTery department. However, we will not actively facilitate artists and volunteers during the event. If you want more info pre-playa, please send an email to Debbie at myidyllwild@yahoo.com. Thanks!

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PARTICIPATE IN THE THICK OF IT ALL: THE CENTER CAMP CAFE

Are you coming to Black Rock City for the first time this year?

This is your chance to participate in the absolute coolest coffee shop in the world, the Center Camp Cafe. It's perfect place to get acquainted with the city, meet its residents, and get your groove on. Whether you've slung coffee for years or never touched an espresso machine in your life, there's a place for YOU behind the counters. We love cashiers, barristas, runners, beautifiers, and more. In the cafe you will get to work in the shade and serve cool drinks to the strange and wonderful citizens of Black Rock City. Come hang with us in the coffee shop! If you have any questions about what it's like to work in the Cafe, contact witchy@burningman.com for more info. If you want to jump right in, you can visit our volunteer questionnaire at http://www.burningman.com/participate/questionnaire.html
and tell us a bit about yourself.

Come be a part of the most amazing cafe in the world!!

AND If you're a returning volunteer, and you've already filled out the questionnaire, you can contact tisha2@burningman.com, our lovely & inspiring volunteer tendress & schedulatrix, to sign up for your preferred shifts. Please send specific shift preferences; jobs, days, and times... We're open 24 hours a day and we have 4 hour shifts (the perfect playa-length for a shift) that start at 7, 11, & 3--both AM & PM...

See you on the Playa!

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WRANGLE BENEATH THE MAN

Attention! The Burning Man Funhouse needs you! Below the the Man will be 40+ rooms in three levels, two stages, placed within an epic maze, filled with art designed to entice, provoke and confuse the citizens of Black Rock City. The funhouse wranglers will assist, goad, conscript, befuddle and amuse participants, while clarifing the art installations, providing (mis)directions and simply keeping an eye on things. Shifts needing volunteers run from Monday afternoon, 'til Friday 11pm. Email our master wrangler Dylan at funhouse-wranglers@burningman.com . to learn more and sign up!

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CLICK HERE TO LIVE ON THE ESPLANADE

The Playground, formerly conGLOMerate, makes final call for campers and for Interactive Art projects.

Last year we were The GLOM, home of the 40' Chairway-to-heaven elevator, the gASSo full-service ass station (remember the Spank-o-matic?), the BASS (Big Ass Shade Structure) and the bar it contained, and lots of other cool stuff.

This year we're back with the same toys, plus a couple of new surprises, as The Playground. On the Esplanade at 3:30, adjacent to and sharing resources with our sister camp, The Q. More info at
http://www.playaplayground.com/.

CALL FOR CAMPERS: Do you want to be part of a high-intensity kick-ass camp that puts on a great show and has a hell of a lot of fun? Are you ready to contribute to that energy and excitement? If so, we've got room for about 6 more residents.

We have high standards for Playground residents -- you must have exceptional moral standards and a 3.8 GPA, ...no, not really, but you do need to be someone who wants to participate and carry your load in a high-intensity Esplanade theme camp. You need to have an outgoing personality who can work well with other people in a busy environment. It helps to be creative, or at least be able to get along with others who are very creative, and construction skills are especially welcome. You must be someone who gets immense satisfaction from seeing the fun you will bring to the thousands of guests who will visit our high-traffic camp. And YOU need to be a fun person.

CALL FOR ART: Together with The Q, we have 550 feet of registered Theme Camp frontage, and a small amount on our 3:30 and Amnesia sides can be made available for the right projects. Do you have some great interactive art that's looking for a home and fits with what The Playground or The Q is doing? Do you want the exposure that will come as part of a high-traffic Esplanade theme camp? If so, let us know. There may still be time to get you in, and 24/7 power is available if needed.

CONTACT: Major-D@PlayaPlayground.com

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BURNING BAND RETURNS

The Burning Band is the oldest marching band on the Playa, and we're still looking for talented musicians or close facsimiles. If you've mastered an instrument (a kazoo or Tupperware drum qualify), or at least have thought it might be fun to learn, we probably have a place for you.

New this year, we have a self-powered traveling music box in which to play. It will carry us around on the Playa, and the gazebo it carries will turn if anyone drops a can in the slot. Less marching, more music, and free beer!

This year The Playground is our home camp, though you can be in the band and camp anywhere. Still, camping at The Playground AND being in the band -- killer combination.

More info at: http://www.burningband.com/

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48 HOUR FILM PROJECT IN BRC

For the first time ever, the 48 Hour Film Project is coming to Black Rock City! In two wild and sleepless days, you can make a movie--write, shoot, edit, and score it--on the playa!

The films will be made between 5pm August 31st and 5pm September 1st. They will be screened at Automatic Subconscious (6:30 and Esplanade) the evening they are complete, on September 1st at 9pm.

Come! Participate! Make a movie!

More info at:
http://www.48hourfilm.com/brc

Some ways to be involved:

1. FORM A TEAM. If you want to lead a bunch of people in creating a movie, great! Send an email to ben@48hourfilm.com with your name, address, phone number, a description of your film experience, and a description of your Burning Man experience. If we don't have enough interested teams, the project won't happen, so let us know soon! Registration fees will be waived for the Black Rock City 48 Hour Film Project.

2. JOIN A TEAM. We will need many folks other than team leaders to make these movies happen. If you want to participate but do not want to lead a team, then join our yahoo group ( http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/48hourfilm-blackrockcity )
and post an ad. Or just show up at the kickoff and find a team there.

3. WATCH THE MOVIES. The movies will be showing a scant four hours after their completion at Automatic Subconscious, the big cube at 6:30 and Esplanade. The show will begin at 9pm. Come and check out what playa filmmakers have made!

If you have any questions, visit http://www.48hourfilm.com/brc or send an email to ben@48hourfilm.com.

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10 HOUR FILM PROJECT IN BRC

Cinemasports is the Iron Chef of Filmmaking. Teams have 10 hours to complete a movie with a list of ingredients. Screening starts the 11th hour - that very night. Everyone is invited to participate in Cinemasports at Burning Man on Thurs, Sept 1.

For example, can teams finish a movie before sundown that includes a flower petal, a bubble, and extra-terrestrial life? Three-time Oscar winner Walter Murch says about Cinemasports, "Something emerges that's not contained in any of the films..."

Cinemasports treats the audience to a unique cinematic experience. Art exploded from a creative pressure cooker. A simultaneous world premiere and wrap-up party. Check out the samples online from cities around the world. www.cinemasports.com

Cinemasports Burning Man - Thursday, Sept 1, 2005.
8PM SCREENING OPEN TO PUBLIC Camp Videogasm in Snowflake Village (8:40 @ Esplanade)

9AM (Earlier that day) Filmmakers kickoff and ingredients are announced @ Message board at Center Camp. Ingredients will be posted on the message board throughout the day for late starters.

* Both 48 Hour Film Fest and Cinemasports will conform to rules for personal use of video cameras at Burning Man.

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FIREPOD NEEDS MUSIC

Firepod, an interactive steel fire sculpture, is looking for music to score its nightly performances. Each evening soon after sunset fire performers and the public are invited to perform, interact, and feel the heat from 12 giant propane fire cannons. Firepod needs:

-Drummers!
-Mobile DJs!
-Groups!
-Soloists!

Your music will score a fire show, fire dancers, and an interactive fire experience. Continuous, danceable music is preferred. Firepod will be active Monday - Saturday on the playa. Direct questions to juicebox@monozygotic.com.

http://www.flight2mars.com/firepod

thanks,
juicebox

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HYDRAULIC ROBOT NEEDS A LIFT

Camp-pain is in need of a large truck hauler to tow up our giant hydraulic robot to Black Rock City. It is a heavily modified Chevy Suburban. We will be getting a 26' truck and we are willing to help haul another camp's loot up to the city. Email me and we can talk about cost. Please contact us if you or anyone you know could help us out. We are in San Jose. Contact jadeassasin@gmail.com. Thanks a bunch.

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PLAYATECH UPDATE

Urgent Factory Recall Information!

Playatech regrets to announce that it is taking the unprecedented step of announcing an urgent safety recall of all Playatech ploducts. Please return your Playatech creation to your nearest Playatech factory immediately to perform necessary safety modifications.

According to Federal Aviation Administration officials, all Playatech ploducts were appropriately designed to resist catastrophic disintegration under normal burner loads, but high winds may cause unsecured Playatech furniture to become airborne. The FAA is now concerned that rapidly increasing numbers of Playa Love Seats and other Playatech ploducts may interfere with near-term Black Rock City Airport flight operations.

To prevent unintended pyrotechnic population control impacts, Playatech recommends all factories drill a large hole near the bottom of one or both side supports on all ploducts intended for outdoor use. A carabiner may then be used to secure your Playa Love Seat or other fine furniture item to a hooked rebar sunk into the playa.

Thank you for sitting safely, and don't miss our giant once-in-a-lifetime 100%-off Labor Day Desert Snuggle Sale at Burning Silicon Collective, right behind Center Camp at 6PM and Ego. For more information about Playatech, visit
http://www.playatech.com/
A little participation makes the magic happen, so if you like our stuff enough to build it, please support art no one can imagine yet by paying it forward through our radically unique shareware royalty program. And do leave no trace by throwing your Playatech furniture on the Man's embers at midnight, which will make room for our unconceived 2006 ploduct line.

Playatech - supporting asses and the arts since a few weeks ago

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MAKE YOUR OWN PEE FUNNEL

More glory for the Ladies' Playa Hygeine department. (By the way, y'all fellas who get bothered by this kind of talk always make me smile, knowing you're destined for reincarnation as a woman next time 'round.)

Zoe writes: "No more Pee Funnel Camp, or how to make your own PFC pee funnel:

After four years of glory the members of Pee Funnel Camp have chosen to move on to other projects. We'd like to thank all of our loyal customers for the last four years of putting the fun in pee funnel. We'll be back on the playa under a different name and purpose this year, but there are other options for ladies that enjoy peeing easy in the potties:

1. Learn stand 'n' pee - women don't need any (wo)manmade devices to pee while standing, there are plenty of websites that will teach you how. Practice makes perfect.

2. There are also many brands (1 was printed here in the resources issue) of commercial pee funnels that work and run from $15.00-$30.00.

3. How to make your own Pee Funnel Camp pee funnel or Zoe's Secret Recipe:

Materials: 1 9 oz. or larger plastic cup (sturdy but flexible polyethylene works best), 8 inches 7/16" vinyl tubing, 3/8" metal bolt, silicone glue (get the kind that's rated best for plastics), gas stove or blowtorch, wrench.

Use the wrench to hold the bolt while you heat it over the blowtorch or gas stove. Melt a hole in the bottom of the cup. Carefully squeeze the tube through the hole (should fit very snug, not too pinched or the cup will crack, but it should hold itself, the glue is just for backup). Coat both sides of the hole with generous amounts of silicone glue. Let dry 24 hours.

I've had these last a day, I've had them last three years, it's all in how much glue and how carefully you make it and how much you respect the seal while using it. They're not environmentally friendly in any way, but they are as easy to use as the professional models, and much cheaper. Stand Free and Pee!"

JRS Note: Can we at least recommend not inhaling the fumes from melting that hole?

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MAKE MASKS IN SF, AUG 13

From : The House of Masks
Location: David Dworman's house
642 5th Avenue (2 blocks north of Golden Gate Park),
San Francisco, CA
When: Saturday, August 13, 1:00 PM - 7:00
Contact: 614-638-7774 (cell)

Details: The House of Masks is have an PRE - Burning Man MASK making Party/BBQ. We need help creating MASKS OF OUR ID to decorate the Funhouse -- a crazy maze of rooms below the Man.

These masks will be hung at the Funhouse during the event and returned to you on the playa in time for the Mask Parade on Friday evening before the burn. We will supply all the arts & craft needs for making, creating, masks that represent your Id!! There will be plaster of paris for customized masks, paper mache mask, plastic masks, paints, fabric and a whole lot more.

This will also be an afternoon BBQ. We will supply the basics - burger, dogs, drinks. Bring what ever you like to add to our buffet/grill. For additional information contact: jeff@carn.org.

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BOX DOG BIKES OPEN HOUSE AUGUST 9th

Box Dog Bikes is San Francisco's favorite worker-owned used bike shop. Stop by Tuesday, August 9th from 5-9 for a special Burning Man BYOB Get Together.

* plan for pre- and post-playa bike maintenance
* enjoy fun music & snacks
* talk with other burners about on-playa bike issues
* check out our great selection of baskets and racks
* accessorize with streamers, seat covers, horns, and more
* reserve one of our playa-apprpriate bikes for as low as $60
* order a bike built to your specifications

Box Dog Bikes is located at 494 14th Street at Guerrero. We're open everyday and can also be reached at 415-431-9627.

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VIKING YOUTH IN CHICAGO AUG 6

The Viking Youth Power Hour -live recording and fundraiser

9:00 PM - 11:00 PM - Viking Youth Power Hour live recording/Burning Man discussion (great place for newbies to have questions answered and to meet theme campers from Chicago area!)

11 PM- ?? Dj's, blowout, fun

Free before 10 - $5 donation after funds Radio Free Valhalla at BMan 2005- recording podcasts daily and offering workshops on how to create your own podcast. If you're on the playa come by and